Monday, April 27, 2009
Eventho I've tried so hard.. but still, I end up to face failure...
I've tried so hard.. People knows that... S is what I did each and everytime.. I never left B even when I go for outing... I stayed up every single night to face B... But at the end... Failure..
Something wrong with my brain... I guess.. No matter how hard I tried... I always failed it... ='(
I wish I can give up... I wanna give up... I just can't stand with it anymore... I can't...
My lecturer said to me,
"I know u are excellent student. I'm happy and proud that u can score 18 and 19 upon 20 in every single quiz that u take. But now, I'm disappointed... U have a very good brain. Maybe u studied so hard before the exam. Student can easily get blank during examination, and apparently that occurs to u... I just hope that u can accept what has been fated. Control ur emotion, take some time to rest. Take care of urself and ur health. I hope u can score during final exam,"
I cried... that moment I cried in front of my lecturer... So kind of her... Not only her, I'm also diappointed with myself. Everytime during exam, I can easily got blank. Yea, everytime... I dunno why.... And it seems this situation always happen to me since I step into 'Matriculation Year'. I didn't remember any of this happen to me when I was in high school..
What's wrong with me? Why I became such a stupid and idiot?!! Why... ='(
Even if I cry again and again, nothing could be done... Nothing.. The only thing that I can do is to struggle for my final exam next 2 weeks... I hope... I really2 hope that I won't get blank during final exam.. Please... I don't want to fail...
If my fren knew about it, I'm sure they will be shocked... Not that I want to be proud of myself, but they know and they realize how much I studied hard B subject... Real hard... Everytime I have free time, B subject that I revise... I must say, I studied B day, night and midnight... I love B but why I just can't score it? Why...??
If I'm disappointed with myself, I'm sure my family will be much more diappointed than I am especially my mother...
Right after I got my result and cried in front of my B lecturer, I called my mom. I wanted to tell her eventho it's so hard for me to puke out the words... But seems like she's buzy with her teaching or something... 30 minutes after that she called me...
"Assalamualaikum, nape adik call oma?" My mom's voice is so cheerful, I couldn't bear to tell her... ='(
"Waalaikummussalam, oma tengah wat pe?"
"Tadi ada kelas. Ayah dah masuk duit nak beli tiket. Rmxxx"
"Oh, banyaknye. Tiket bukannya mahal mane pown"
"Takpela. Kire duit blanje skali"
"Ok. Time kaceh...=) "
"Nape call??" Suddenly, my mom talk to someone else...
"Urm, oma call balik nanti.." and she off the phone...
Sighness... 5 minutes after that, my mom called back..
"Sorry, oma ada mesyuarat nanti. Nape adik call? Suara semacam je ni. Cam sedih je.. Ada pape ke?"
"Takde la.. Tak sihat sket. Lepas teman Yun masuk hospital, selsema tak elok lagi,"
"Owh.. tak p jumpa doktor ke?"
"La, nak dekat seminggu dah ni. P la jumpa doktor..."
"Takpe la... nanti2 elok la 2..." (That's me.. Very hard to meet doctors and very hard to take in medicine)
"Nie... betul takde pape ni?"
"Betul.. adik saje call oma..." Actually, at that moment, I'm trying to control myself from crying.. ="(
"Ok la.. nanti oma call balik ye... Jaga diri elok2. I luv u. Assalamualaikum.."
"I luv u 2... waalaikummussalam..."
And tears falling down my cheek.. Again... I wish I can tell u oma... Tapi adik tak sampai hati... Adik dah kecewakan oma.... Sori... adik tak berniat pun... Sori... =(
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I managed to met the author of Satu Penantian book!!
And that makes my day... =)
They can make short and interesting! That's what I did so that I can easily memorize my notes. But it seems like, scientist and biology authors, they have the brains, but they don't have the creativeness.
Ok. Fine. Some people said that " If biology notes is short, u might left out certain important things behind!" Yea, maybe, but that doesn't mean that u have to write that 10 metres-or-kilometres long! I just don't get it! Not at all!!
Know what? InsyaAllah, if I have free times, I'll be a biology online-writers so that people like me, who does not have very genius brain, can catch up with biology thingies. I'll make it like a short notes, just few words and arrows, simple yet complete with all important things. And see if people like it. I can assure u that people will like it. Hmmph!! =P
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
To study the effect of light intensity on the rate of photosynthesis
Did u realize that guy with the black songkok? He's one of the In Team singer (note that In Team is one of the nasyeed group)
This girl, her name is Nik Nur Madhihah. She's the one who achieved 20A's in her SPM 2008
The most right one is the writer of one of the novels that I favour the most!
The lady on the left one (polka dot scarf) is Aina Emir. She's one of my favourite writers too! =)
Oh I lurve this rack. So colourful! Compilation of Chick Lit's karya's. I didn't buy this book bcoz of the 'insufficient' money case. ='(
Lurve this booth. Full of balloons!! Very colourful! I lurve colorful thingies! *wink*
Another thing that attracts my attention. Purple and orange. So darn genius combination!
This group... I have no idea what 'Magic' is.. Are they some kind of people from American-Idol-like programme? Mabe the difference is, they don't sing, they do magic. Isn't that rational? Hahaha!!
Again, colourful books. I didn't buy it bcoz this is for kids.. I'm a teenager ohkay!
Colourful buttons from Anis booth
Helmi: This girl is cute rite?
Aimin: I think Farah is much more cute than she is.
Aimin: She wanna broke up with me???
Hahaha!! Just kidding there. To Helmi and Aimin, thanks a lot for willing to sacrifice ur time and accompany us to the book fair. U guys really are true frens... =)
Neway, I have no idea how much money that I spent to buy my novels and etceteras. But, for sure it is over rm100.. heheh...
And know what? I'm going to KLBF at PWTC again this Saturday. This time, with Ain and Yunnie. Ahhh... can't wait to go there again! I'm planning of buying Chick Lit's novels and Ana Muslim note book. So cute! Heheh..
Ok..gottogo now. I want to continue reading my novel--> Cinta Kau dan Aku. Bei2!!
p/s: I'm suppose to sudy biology but... I just can't resist reading this novel!! Hahaha!! I promise I'll read it tomorrow morning. No oversleeping. Heheh..
Lotsa love <3,